Gidday yourself Rowan
Don't sweat it, you have no need to explain, i am as busy as anyone could be myself `)
The OBDII standard does cover which pins are to be used for what signals in some case, none of which are directly compatible with any computers IO port, connector or pins.
However a good number of pins on the OBDII connector are free to be used as the manufacturer wishes, and again, with signals not truly designed to be connected directly to a PC and potentially harmful.
That being said, someone has figured out that you can connect a standard RS232 Port on a PC to the EAS system and there are leads you can buy quite cheaply that are wired like this, as well as open source (commonly referred to as free) software that can be downloaded and used, however as the timing requirement of the EAS is quite specific, there seems to be a lot of trial and error and messing with various timing values to get things working well enough.
Some seem to have no trouble and others end up not being able to do it at all.
The ELM323 interface would give you connectivity to the EMS and possibly the Autobox, but data access, even with provided trial software is quite limited.
Sadly, i believe our own equipment costs a bit more than any light interest level could justify, which is a shame as i would love to show you what the right hardware and software can achieve.
But in the meantime, i hope i have reasonably detailed the situation and saved you from the fertilizer pile as you put it. :roll: