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The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great
fire of 1666.

The Scots raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards" They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the frontline in the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability. It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes, on all of their allies, just in case.

And at a local level...

New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA!". Due to continuing defense cutbacks (the airforce being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is "****, I hope Austrulia will come and rescue us". In the event of invasion, New Zealanders will be asked to
gather together in a strategic defensive position called "Bondi".


Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, mate". Three more escalation levels remain, "Crikey!', "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled". So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.
 

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Now that's funny!!!

Nice one Shupack! By the way, here's a pic I took coming down from Mosquito Pass at the LR National Rally.



 

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That's Great stuff. :clap: May I copy and paste elsewhere if I give you the credit? :lol: :lol:


Dave
 

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piprover said:
That's Great stuff. :clap: May I copy and paste elsewhere if I give you the credit? :lol: :lol:


Dave
certainly, but I cut/pasted it from here:

theospark.net, he got it somewhere else too, so no idea who put it together.

and thanks PJ.... can't wait to get to Moab ;)
 

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AH CRAP! My sides hurt and my eyes are leaking like Niagara! :thumb:
 

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shupack said:
The Scots raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards" They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the frontline in the British army for the last 300 years.
You've heard of John Smeaton then?
I've been trying to find the footage of him immediately after the attacks (because its hilarious) but it doesn't seem to be on YaTube.

So here's some words from Michael McIntyre
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1j31AnF ... re=related
His stuff is actually available as audiobooks that you can convert to mp3 and listen to wherever..


You can even connect your ayePod to a non-macintosh computer


Maybe make some alterations...


But don't worry, it has a safety mechanism
 

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Gee TIm, now I don't feel so bad about the jokes I posted fer ya in the Moderators forum! :lol:
 

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:clap: :clap: :clap:

Very profound! Thanks for sharing it :thumb:
 

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Tim (Scotland) said:
You've heard of John Smeaton then?
I've been trying to find the footage of him immediately after the attacks (because its hilarious) but it doesn't seem to be on YaTube.

So here's some words from Michael McIntyre

You can even connect your ayePod to a non-macintosh computer
Love the Aye Pod!! That's ggggrrrrrreeeeaatt.
 
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