Sharing this story as I think you may find it entertaining to follow along. My brother and I are amateur Land Rover enthusiasts. We've rebuilt two classics now, owned two LR3s, and a 2012 LR4. But this could be our biggest adventure yet...
Recently, after watching a few too many YouTube videos to work up the confidence, we acquired a 2011 Range Rover Sport Supercharged (heck yes!) from Copart. 78K miles, used to be a fleet vehicle, very clean inside and out. Except for one problem: the car didn't start. No crank, no sounds, nothing.
We brought it back to the shop, and found a dead starter motor hanging by the leads. Ok... new starter acquired, fuses replaced, and then a nice big "WHIRRR" and nothing: the engine must be seized. Wedging a prybar into the starter hole and attempting to turn the motor by engaging the ring gear directly yielded nothing either.
So we then removed the coil packs, and the spark plugs. On the last plug of the passenger side back I think this is cylinder #8, the plug had a bit of resistance coming out. Then the horror: it was totally mangled (see picture). Something inside the engine obliterated that plug. That's not what you want to see. We could get a feeler stick about 24 inches into the spark plug hole of that cylinder too, so maybe the piston has been compromised.
We continue the disassembly. We have to figure out how to get the body off the frame in our home garage, and then take apart the engine to see how bad the damage is. Best case it's a valve job or a new head. Worst case this is a really expensive paperweight.
Any guesses? Big thanks to AnvilRob for his guidance thus far.